to whom it may concern

i, raj j putari, unidef, frederick j thompson, and other aliases, apologize sincerely to the following companies, and will oblige to do whatever it takes, even what you guys did before i got here, to fix it:

cnn
fox news
cbs news (they got to you)
msnbc
nbc
comcast
instagram
twitter
facebook
zuckerberg industries
the ivy league system c/o harvard
south san francisco high school
county of san mateo
south san francisco school district

under federal law, under wiretap, and under the grounds of geneva convention violations from the united nations (which provided the framework for torturing, which i will not quote, for geneva was the bastard that caused this). i will oblidge in doing whatever it takes to settle this debt, as long as you leave me, my friends, and my family alone, not in that order. this contract is not to be taken literally, and is justifable within a fair hint of the law, but stay sincere, if i become famous, i will appear on your shows, and i will cooperate, just no orgies, no meth, and i’ll just stay by my security.. if you need a friend, i’ll be your friend, just stop harassing me and my people.

as a momento, ill give you access to the emails i sent to my friends, who are faithfully listed below:

espirit talent agency
comedy central
busboy productions
cbs
viacom
tom hanks
and all the people i befriended along the way, if i survive, we can party, for there is no perfect enjoyment above meeting friends from long quarters


there is over 10,000 show ideas and a ton of material, you are all welcome to it if you sufficiently reimburse me for my work

i own unidef.org and in the future i’ll own all unidef domains, so unidef.org, will be for my friends in the media who need a home, they can post, interact with forum and chat goers if they see fit and i can afford hosting (always pay the most when hosting a party), they are welcome to public email addresses, ie, tom@unidef.org, taylorswift@unidef.org, avrillavigne@unidef.org, jonstewart@unidef.org, etcetra ecetra

if my talent agent agrees to work with me and send the fucking paperwork, im made for my entire life, so i’ll spend my time helping people just like in my shaolin mastery, and karmic expulsion, and continue to help the media, along with anyone that comes to unidef.org

hopefully i can move to la soon and get this torture shit from these jackass locals over, fucking yokels

trustworthily yours

raj j putari